Maxwell fired a reporter for telling a caller to fuck off — and then forgot all about it

By TIM MINOGUE

A friend of mine was a reporter on The People in the 1980s. One day, when he was very busy, a man who frequently wrote and telephoned with “stories” about  how he was receiving messages from Princess Di via aliens (or whatever) turned up unannounced at reception in Orbit House. 

The receptionist  called my  friend and said “Mr Bloggs is here to see you.” Harassed reporter: “Oh just get him to fuck off, will you?” Receptionist to Mr Bloggs: “Mr —— says you are to fuck off.”

Bloggs: “Can I use this phone?”

“Yes”.

“How do I get the switchboard?”

“Dial 9.”

Dials 9.

“Hello, switchboard? Would you put me through to Mr Maxwell, please?”

“Hold the line.”

Ring, ring.

“Robert Maxwell speaking.”

“Oh, hello Mr Maxwell. My name is Bloggs and I’ve come from Leamington Spa with an important story for Mr ——, but he says I’m to fuck off.”

Maxwell immediately phoned my friend and fired him.

Later, he was drowning his sorrows in the Stab. A colleague asked him what was up. He told him about being fired by Maxwell.

“Don’t be so silly,” says the hack. “He”ll have forgotten all about it by now.”

And so it proved.

Moral: however mad the person in reception is, never tell them to fuck off.

5 June 2024