ROGUE LIFE OF CROOKED CAVALIER WHO STOLE THE CROWN JEWELS
IT WOULD have been the greatest heist of the 17th century. The London Gazette reported that the Crown Jewels had been stolen … but the armed robbers only got as far as the Tower of London Gatehouse.
The bulky crown had been flattened with a mallet; the orb stuffed down the gang leader’s breeches and the State sceptre which was too long to fit in their swag bag, was sawn in half.
The robbery happened on May 9, 1671, after Irish adventurer Colonel Thomas Blood, gained the trust of the 77-year-old jewel keeper, Talbot Edwards, who was left bound and gagged on the floor of the Crown Room.
The raid shocked the nation, and the story of the failed heist was carried in London's dozens of one-page 'broadsheets' and the London Gazette. A crime like this had never been attempted before.
Blood, 53, had already been involved in reckless exploits and was one of the most-wanted men in the Three Kingdoms. He was a glamorous rogue. Women and many in the public loved him.
An Anglo-Irish officer and adventurer, Blood had initially fought on the side of King Charles I during the English Civil War but switched sides to Oliver Cromwell’s Roundheads as they began to win.
Following Cromwell’s victory in 1653 the former dashing cavalier was generously rewarded with lands and made a justice of the peace, but in 1660 when Charles II was restored to the throne, he fled with his family. Blood was all but ruined – and he sought revenge, plotting the theft of the Crown Jewels.
One day that year Blood, disguised as a parson, went to see the jewels at the Tower of London and became friendly with the keeper Edwards. He returned later with his ‘wife’, an actress he had hired.
As the visitors were leaving, ‘Mrs. Blood’ had a violent stomach-ache and was taken to Edwards’s apartment to rest.
The grateful Parson Blood returned a few days later with four pairs of white gloves for Mrs. Edwards in appreciation of her kindness to his ‘wife’. The Edwards family and Blood became close friends from then on.
Edwards had a pretty daughter and was delighted when the parson proposed a meeting between his wealthy nephew and her.
On May 9, 1671, Blood arrived at 7am. with his ‘nephew’ and two other men. While the ‘nephew’ was getting to know Edwards’s daughter the others in the party wanted to see the Crown Jewels. Edwards led the way downstairs and unlocked the door to the room where they were kept.
As the door was closed behind them the gang threw a cloak over Edwards’ head before trying to bind and gag him. But Edwards kept up his fight for England as old as he was. Blood bludgeoned him with a mallet and stabbed him with a sword threatening to kill him, before turning his attention to the precious treasures waiting behind the wooden grille.
The grille was removed from in front of the jewels and the crown, orb and State sceptre were taken out. The crown was flattened with the mallet and stuffed into a bag, and the orb stuffed down Blood’s breeches. The sceptre was too long to go into the bag, so Blood’s brother-in-law sawed it in half!
At that point Edwards regained consciousness and began to shout: “Murder, Treason! The Crown has been stolen!” As the voices of the guards were heard, Blood and his accomplices dropped the sceptre and rushed to get away.
Blood tried unsuccessfully to shoot one of the soldiers as he raced through the Tower firing at will and letting out his own bamboozling cries of ‘Treason!’ to confuse his pursuers. He was arrested at the Iron Gate.
In custody he refused to answer questions, instead repeating stubbornly, “I’ll answer to none but the King himself!” Blood knew that the King had a reputation for liking bold scoundrels and believed his considerable Irish charm would save his neck as it had done several times before in his life.
Blood was taken to the Palace where he was questioned by King Charles II, Prince Rupert, The Duke of York and other members of the royal family.
The king was indeed amused at Blood’s audacity when Blood told him that the Crown Jewels were not worth the £100,000 they were valued at, but only £6,000 which he would gladly pay!
According to the London Gazette, he asked Blood: “What if I should give you your life?” and Blood replied humbly, “I would endeavour to deserve it, Sire!”
Blood was not only pardoned, to the disgust of the Lords, but was given Irish lands worth £500-a-year, and he became a familiar figure around London and at Court. In return he spied for the King in England and Ireland.
STORM IN A TEACUP OVER WILD WEST SALLIE AND WYATT EARP
IT IS NOT only in our time that trick, or as President Trump says, “fake photography”, blights our lives. It has been happening throughout history. This rather well-endowed lady has been the subject of research and controversy for years.
The picture is authentic enough, but her real name remains a mystery. She is said to be Tea Cup Sallie (Simpson), a Wild West prostitute authorised to trade her wares by Dodge City Marshal Wyatt Earp. Etsy and eBay sell her prints on the internet for around £13.99 with the caption Tea Cup Sallie: Waitress.
Some newspapers back in time have referred to her smile being like the Mona Lisa’s. Others say she is mimicking Queen Victoria with her tiara, who was alive at the same time and well known in the Wild West as the Big White Chief.
But there is a lot of conjecture that the license for prostitution is a fake, even though Earp was Marshall at that time. So, what was Sally doing with those bra cups and why?
FIVE-BOTTLES-A-DAY PITT HEADS FOR PORT
Prime Minister William Pitt liked to address the House of Commons under the influence of alcohol, mostly port.
Pitt picked up the port habit in 1773 at the age of 14 when he suffered an attack of gout in the foot. A doctor prescribed a bottle of port a day to cure the inflammatory disease that was made worse by it, reported the ‘Morning Chronicle’ in 1803.
“He became a five-bottles-a-day man,” the paper went on.
The actor Sheridan who was a friend of Pitt, was also a ‘five bottle man,” suggested the ‘Evening Post’ the same year. His choice was port in oversize glasses, and crammed into the evening only, drinking beer at other times.
When Sheridan was dining at Somerset House and the party were all in “high feather” on port, a servant rushed in and said: “Sir, the house is on fire!”
“Bring another bottle of claret,” said Sheridan, it is not my house!”
FOOTNOTE: Port bottles were slightly smaller than today. Only slightly.
WHY AUDIE MURPHY WAS THE TRUE
WAR HERO OF HOLLYWOOD MOVIES
I SEEM to have grown up knowing that Hollywood star cowboy Audie Murphy was a war hero off screen even though I never saw any of his movies.
I had heard of ‘Destry Rides Again’ of course, Lord Beaverbrook’s favourite film that he made his new editors sit through at his Surrey estate, Cherkeley Court.
Murphy was the star of the remake, ‘Destry’ in 1954. But what did he really do in the Second World war that made him such a big household name?
From the archive stories and cuttings, I realised that Murphy, the most decorated American soldier of the Second World War, was in the Colonel H Jones class (the British Falklands’ War hero awarded the VC after his solo charge on an Argentinian army bunker in 1982).
Murphy’s courage was equally spectacular. If, like me, you didn’t know the full story of why he was awarded America’s highest bravery award, The Medal of Honour, here it is:
After initial military training in 1942, Murphy was sent to Europe with the 1st Battalion, 3rd Infantry Division, which fought its way through North Africa, Sicily, Italy, France and Germany, where he rose to the rank of staff sergeant and earned a battlefield commission for his courage and leadership.
By January. 26, 1945, he was 2nd Lt. Murphy and commanding Company B near Holtzwihr, France, when they were attacked by six tanks and waves of German infantrymen who were trying to take over a nearby wooded area.
Murphy ordered his troops to withdraw into the trees to find better positions while he stayed up front alone at his command post to direct artillery fire by telephone.
As this was happening, an American tank destroyer behind him took a direct hit, burning so badly that its crew also had to withdraw and run into the woodland. Murphy found himself facing over 50 advancing German soldiers and tanks, but he continued to direct artillery over the field phone.
Wounded in the leg, out of ammunition and knowing he would be killed at any moment as the bullets zapped by his head, he limped to the burning U.S. tank destroyer, that he knew might blow up and climbed behind its .50-caliber machine gun with his field radio.
Despite being exposed to German gunfire on three sides, Murphy continued to rain deadly fire onto the enemy for an hour, shouting down his radio and swinging the gun sideways and forward, killing dozens of Germans closing in, causing the infantry attack to falter.
When a radio operator asked how close the enemy was, Murphy replied: “Just hold the phone and I’ll let you talk to one of the bastards!”
As German tanks began to lose infantry support, they fell back, and troops tried every weapon left to take this stubborn American soldier out.
Murphy didn’t lose his nerve and instead wiped-out the enemy squads trying to creep up unnoticed with flame throwers and hand grenades on his right flank. Finally, after the Americans regrouped, he was rescued.
In all, Murphy spent about 400 days on the front lines of the war. During his three years of combat, he was wounded three times, fought in nine major campaigns and was credited with killing more than 240 enemy soldiers himself.
When he returned to America suffering from traumatic stress disorder, James Cagney persuaded him to become a Hollywood war actor, which he did. But apart from Destry, he only ever really played in B movies, making $3million in his lifetime.
He died in a private plane crash near Roanoke, Virginia on May 28, 1971, aged just 45 with ‘crushing debts’ from gambling.
He was one helluva hero.
TERRY MANNERS
27 July 2026
