THE TOSSING’S OFF
But it all ended happily for pint-sized couple

By GEORGE DEARSLEY

One of my strangest ever freelance missions was to find the human projectile for the launch of a brand new sport: dwarf throwing. 

It came from a pal of crazy politician Screaming Lord Sutch. After a few hours of sleuthing I had recruited Britain’s smallest man 2ft 11in Mike Ballan to don the Velcro suit. 

Alas before his career could hit the target, it hit the rocks when a federation of local authorities unanimously banned DT from UK entertainment venues. 

My chance to earn some coin of the realm was gone. But wait. Two months later, Mike rang me to ask if I would report his upcoming wedding. I did an exclusive for The Sun, plus a woman’s magazine feature. 

The publicity led Mike (who has a normal size brother) to earn a pay day from an American magazine doing a story about the real life Twins (a 1988 movie starring Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger). Huzzah!