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SUNDAY 14 APRIL 2024

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TRANNY PECULIAR

Reporters will do anything to get the story — including dressing up as a woman in full makeup

ON THE JOB: Dearsley in drag

By GEORGE DEARSLEY

It’s not everyday you tell your wife: “Darling, I’m off to spend the night at a transvestite hotel.”


The story began when a security van and its driver disappeared in Greater Manchester. A police informant’s tip suggested the culprit was holed up in the Queen’s Hotel, Oldham, a known tranny venue. Sure enough, the cops raided and took away a man dressed as a French maid plus a tonne of readies hidden under the bed.


The whole of Fleet Street was keen to know more and to interview the hotel’s owner but he flatly refused. Rupert even turned down an offer of £10,000 to tell all. Yours truly then turned up for a shift on The Sun to be told “give the place one last knock”. 


“Look,” I said. “You’re going about this the wrong way. It’s a hotel. Just get someone to book in.”


I quickly regretted my bright idea. My boss’s eyes lit up and I was soon on my way.


The owner, Rupert, pictured, answered my knock, looking like a stunning woman in a red, figure hugging dress. He took my £60 in cash fee and showed me to my room, where a rack of dresses awaited.


“I’ll be up in 20 minutes to do your make-up,” he said.


Mascara, rouge and lipstick done, Rupert began cooking my evening meal. There were no other guests so he was free to explain to this “commercial traveller from London” all about the way he had thwarted the news hungry Press. 


He also mentioned how he had used a private eye to find one customer who’d left without paying and how he’d had to threaten another guest with a knife because he got drunk.


Each time Rupert left the room I fished in my cleavage for a camera and took plenty of photos.


The story made a full page in the paper. But my blood ran cold when my boss ordered that I rang Rupert to ask what he thought about the coverage.


In trepidation, I phoned Rupert to apologise for my duplicity. There was a long pause and then he said. “It’s fine. Since the article appeared my phone hasn’t stop ringing with bookings.”


1 April 2024

FINISHED ARTICLE: George’s page in The Sun