Our Star Writers

Lord Bingo Cholmondeley-ffeatherstonehaugh (say it "Chumley Fanshawe"), Columnist in Chief and squire of Steeple Cholmondeley. Noted for his sensibly off-the-wall views.

Silmos Lolly, Nostalgia Correspondent, The Gentlemen's Trumpet. Eternally waiting for a tram in Tooting Broadway, sucking a Zube. (Zubes are good for your tubes)

AJP Hedgerow-Corduroy, Nature Writer, ex-Indian Army, expert on fruit and veg.

Forsythia Hedgerow-Corduroy, Gardening Editorwife of above, expert on gardening, frequently found in the shrubbery. Often misunderstood.

The Rev J C Cassock, Religious Affairs Correspondent, vicar and organiser of tea parties which are often fraught with innocent disasters.

Humphrey Pumphrey, poet and tragedian. Almost as good as William McGonagle.

Blanche Celery, women's editor. Famed for her column Ladies' Things.

Professor Pliffploff, Technology Correspondent. All of his inventions, involved the skilful use of a top hat.

Barmy Brainstorm, Assistant Technology Correspondent. Pliffploff's ever-eager helper and long-suffering guinea pig for his mad inventions.

Brown N. Polson, Custard Editor, also chef to Silmos Lolly. Drones on rather a lot about custard.

Ginger Herbert, Spice Girls Editor. There's two things to remember about Ginge. He's ginger...and he's a herbert.

Wayne Kerr, The Voice of Youth

Colonel Archie Wyldbore-Flogham, The Voice of Reason

Mr Justice Flognoose, president of the Court of Flouncery.

Mr Angus Tootleberry, counsel for the Crown.

Silas Incorte and Bea Upstanding, court reporters.

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(C) Copyright Alastair McIntyre 1997 - 2008

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