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THE THINGS THEY SAY
We are here on Earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I do not know — WH Auden
TODAY’S PAPERS
CARTOON OF THE DAY
Danger of failing to check PAT PRENTICE has written a salutary tale about a young man who killed himself in a car crash. He was described by newspapers and online as a hero who would light up any room he entered. But a few old-fashioned checks by the inexperienced journalists who reported the story could have proved that the youth was anything but a saint.
FLEET STREET GOES TO WAR
An atmospheric picture from 1915 showing men queuing in Fleet Street to sign up to fight in the First World War. It makes one wonder if any of these brave lads ever returned from the killing fields.
This pic and the undated one below, taken in a similar spot, were submitted by Tom McCarthy who spotted them on a social media site called Old England in Colour, which features colourised photos.
FRUIT AND NUT
The cheesy grins say it all. Lord Drone’s magnificent organ has staggered to the rescue of Donald Trump as he waits for his Nobel Peace Prize. We sent our columnist Helena Handcart (Mr) to dress up as a banana and hand the President the 10 metre swimming certificate (s)he won in the 1950s.
The Halfwit in the White House (what’s left of it) looks well pleased with the gift, doesn’t he readers?
WE’VE GONE BANANAS, READERS!
Swim’ll Fix It for the Donald
WHY THE TWO MIKES SPLIT
Parry is a nasty individual who sent vile messages to my family and tried to get me sacked, says Graham
FORMER Expressman Mike Graham has finally explained why he broke off his successful radio double act with Mike ‘Porky’ Parry — and he didn’t pull his punches.
He posted on Facebook: “For all those asking about whether I will ask Mike Parry on to my new show. It won’t happen because he sent vile messages to my friends, my family and my colleagues after we split up. He tried to get me sacked from Talk when he sued them. He’s a nasty, horrible individual who I want nothing to do with. The end. Thanks for asking.”
Kim Willsher, a former Daily Express reporter who now reports from Paris for The Guardian, said: “The other Mike [Parry] has claimed he launched my career. Not true. He put some effort into trying to destroy it. I believe words to the effect of ‘you'll never work as a serious journalist again’ were uttered.”
Graham and Parry, known as The Two Mikes on talkSPORT, had a major fallout in April 2019, leading to their show's disbandment, with Graham accusing Parry of trying to blackmail him and calling him a narcissist after Parry left talkSPORT due to a contract dispute.
Their on-air banter evolved into real-life animosity, prompting listeners to start petitions for reconciliation, though the pair went their separate ways with Graham moving to talkRADIO/TalkTV and Parry leaving radio for a time.
Graham was fired fromTalkTV (and TalkRadio) in November 2025 after failing to cooperate with an internal investigation into a racist post on his Facebook page, which he claimed wasn't his but then refused to help resolve, leading News UK to terminate his employment despite his agreement to assist initially.
He now hosts his own show on YouTube where he has garnered 100,000 subscribers in less than month. The new Mike Graham Show will go live on the platform on Monday, 5 January.
Hickey ed sacked for his addiction to lunch
FORMER William Hickey editor CHRISTOPHER WILSON remembers his predecessor Richard Berens, friend of royalty, habitué of Boodles, who was seldom spotted at his desk.
Legend has it that the recently late Tom Stoppard once wrote about a Morris 1,000 Traveller for The Western Daily Press. He described it as a "half-timbered car".
Eric Price reputedly scoffed later that it proved he would never have made a proper journalist. Allegedly.
News Group Newspapers, publisher of The Sun and defunct News of the World, has agreed to pay “substantial damages” to Chris Jefferies, who was wrongly arrested in 2010 for the murder of Joanna Yeates, over the invasion of his privacy. (The Guardian)
Former media commentator Roy Greenslade and TV producer Paddy French have launched a crowdfunding bid to pay for publication of a new book looking at the exploits of former News of the World journalist Mazher Mahmood. (Go Fund Me)
BBC Middle East editor Raffi Berg is suing Owen Jones for libel over an article published on the Drop Site website about the BBC’s coverage of Gaza. Jones said he looks forward to “vigorously defending my reporting”. (Jewish News)
NEW TODAY
So Robert ‘Bobby J’ Jenrick, the defector who was late for his own defection, has joined Reform. Kemi Badenoch must be relieved that the little terrier snapping at her heels has gone. Now, as she said, perhaps presciently, he’s Farage’s problem. Let’s not forget, though, that the man who delivered a remarkably fluent speech at his accession was backed for the Tory leadership by almost half the party just 15 months ago, trailing by just 12,418 votes. But, as my man lurking in the Central Lobby points out, Jenrick is MP for Newark (anag). Nuff said.
An outrageous attack on Ed Miliband blames him for the Starmer government’s failure. Sarah Ditum in The i Paper condemns him as the man who destroyed Labour. She says that not only has the Net Zero fanatic overseen higher energy bills, instead of the £300 cuts he promised, and only ‘sclerotic’ progress on nuclear power but he is also responsible for a deeper rot. Ms Ditum blames Miliband for entrenching ‘Labour’s lethal habits of self-loathing and internal schism’ and, through losing a general election, ushering in the Corbyn years, from which the party has never fully recovered. She says Ed should never have been party leader: ‘He beat his big brother and wrecked the country.’ This can’t be true, though, can it?
How did US special forces snatch Nicolás Maduro so relatively easily? After all, as the New York Times reminds us, back in 2009 Venezuela announced it was spending billions on one of the world’s most advanced anti-aircraft systems. Yet when US helicopters swooped in to snatch Maduro the much-vaunted, Russian-made S-300 and Buk-M2 air defences were completely ineffective. Analysts say the explanation is comically simple: they basically hadn’t turned them on. The system wasn’t hooked up to radar, and some components were still in storage.
The Daily Drone Examinations Board is setting A-levels for students to take in May. An example — ‘General and International Studies: The world is a safer place with Donald Trump in the White House. Discuss.’ Discuss.
The Marvellous Ms Midgley, writing in The Times, has got our Tel in the Post Room all frothed up. She recalls the ‘forbidden love’ scene involving the original ‘hot priest’, Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward in The Thorn Birds. La Midgley says: ‘My friends and I thought it was the most romantic love scene we had ever seen. I think my bosom actually quivered. I have just rewatched it and, let me tell you, if it still had the energy and the hydraulics, my bosom would have quivered again.’
Our favourite lines about Keir Starmer have long been A. He rose without trace. B. There’s less to him than meets the eye. Kemi Badenoch’s ‘He’s like a plastic bag blowing in the wind’ has got to be up there.
Can we really survive the so-called Awards Season luvvie-fest until the Oscars in March? Already the Critics Choice and Golden Globes gushathons have been dripping in hyperbole. Take this from InStyle on Justine Lupe at the Globes: ‘When it came to Lupe's glam, she shined (sic) like the brightest star in rosy makeup, complete with luminous blue skin, flushed cheeks, defined eyebrows, fluttery eyelashes, black eyeliner, glossy berry-colored lips, and natural nails. She styled her signature golden-blonde locks down in beachy waves with a middle part.’ Bollocks, ain’t it?
David Attenborough’s telly show Wild London (‘Nature doc of the year’ —A.Frame, Daily Drone) resurrected the debate over ring-necked parakeets. One correspondent to the Guardian, appalled by their rapacious greed driving away native species from his bird tables, offers a solution. He writes: ‘Parakeets are of tropical origin and hold within their DNA an atavistic fear of snakes. Draping my feeders with realistic rubber serpents achieved an almost instant absence of the greedy greens.’
Global warming update: A large portion of the Greenland ice sheet that is today over 500 metres thick did not exist 6000-8000 years ago, a new study reveals. Just saying.
That nagging, hacking cough? Is that a common or garden cold or something far more serious: a rare 18th century pulmonary disease? Shall we join the 8am scramble for the doc or access ChatGPT to find out? After all, 230 million users ask the chatbot health questions every week. That’s about 29% of the app’s total user base. Health is such a popular topic on ChatGPT that OpenAI announced it’s launching a dedicated experience with ‘enhanced privacy’ to store all health-related questions.
Barbie is launching its first autistic doll in an effort to represent how individuals with autism spectrum disorder experience the world around them. The doll, which is part of Barbie's Fashionistas line, includes intentional design choices like flexible elbow and hand joints for ‘stimming’, the term for repetitive body movement in which some people with autism engage to process sensory information, says USA Today. The Barbie's accessories include noise-cancelling headphones, loose-fitting clothing and a tablet with Augmentative and Alternative Communication apps which those with autism use.
Small definitely is beautiful in the world of science. Researchers at two American universities have created the world’s smallest, fully programmable, autonomous robots, packing significant capacities, into a device smaller than a grain of salt.
TalesFromTheBackwoods: A rogue wild elephant has killed at least 20 people and injured 15 others in the forests of Jharkhand, India. The lone bull went on the rampage for nine days earlier this month. Children and the elderly are among the dead, as well as a professional elephant handler, known as a mahout. The beast has since vanished into the jungle.
TheThingsTheySay: ‘What President Trump will do next, only he knows. The world will have to keep waiting and guessing. I’m not gonna broadcast it.’ —White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt.
UntouchedByHumanSub: ”Even the grannies in stately homes eventually moved into the dowager house,” one daughter pointed out. I didn’t live in a stately home but my version of a dowager house was beckoning’. —Nadine Dorries, Mail.
WhimsicalGritterNames: David Plowie; Gritney Spears; Gritter Thunberg; Spready Mercury; Sir Andy Flurry; Freeze Witherspoon; Taylor Drift; Chilly Connolly; Snow Connery; Sleetwood Mac; I Want to Break Freeze; Gritly Come Dancing; Credence Clear-Road Survival; For Your Ice Only; Gritty Gritty Bang Bang; Gritty McGritface; Sir Salter Scott.
BadBookReviews: ‘Williams’s book is impaired by slapdash prose. His writing abounds with interminable, convoluted sentences that teem with digressions and then awkwardly limp toward disorienting conclusions.’ — Justin Driver on Thomas Chatterton Williams’s Summer of Our Discontent: The Age of Certainty and the Demise of Discourse (reviewed in The New York Times) and not the meanderings of Drone so-called columnists.
The12LiesOfLabour. 10. Welfare spending is being cut and poverty reduced. An additional £80billion will be spent on welfare by the next decade. Rough sleeping, which Labour promised to end, has risen across most regions of England in the past year. Source: Telegraph.
NIBS
Stand and Deliver
By Hermione Orliff
NEW TODAY
Gloomiest stat of the year (it’s early yet): Some schools are spending as little as £1 a pupil a year on arts, says Richard Morrison in The Times. For thousands there is virtually no art, music, dance or drama. A chilling condemnation of the philistinism of lumpen politicians on all sides. What’s to be done? Starmer and Phillipson make encouraging noises but, so far, that’s it. A villain of the piece is Arts Council England, much criticised in December’s Hodge Report. It is a conduit for funding but Morrison cites one arts education project turned down because ‘there wasn’t enough LGBTQ representation and ethnic diversity among those involved.’ As Matthew Arnold said: ‘Art still has truth. Take refuge there.’
A burly copper chased, tackled and handcuffed three shoplifters legging it through the Manchester suburb of Prestwich. He wasn’t your normal plod on the beat, though but Sir Stephen Watson, the chief constable. This hands-on style is typical of Watson and a good indicator of why he has become ‘the most important voice in British policing’, says Sebastian Payne in The Times. He takes an old school, back-to-basics approach: new uniforms and stricter dress standards, more officers on patrols, quadrupling of stop and search; and a demand that every crime, from break-ins to phone snatching, is investigated. More please.
When Trump made his second state visit to the UK last year he was treated like, er, a king. But when Charles visits Washington in April to mark the 250th anniversary of the United States, it will be embarrassingly different, the Drone’s Chef du Protocole tells me from his Neasden chambers. The massive refurbishment of the White House East Wing means that if the King is caught short, he’ll have to use a Portaloo in a tent on the South Lawn. Trump aide Will Scharf confesses: ‘Porta potties is not a good look for the United States of America.’
For Soviet super spy Aldrich Ames, who has died in prison aged 84, espionage was never about politics, principles or passion. The man who betrayed dozens of fellow CIA agents was driven entirely by money. Moscow paid him $2.5 million over nine years – and he was very flash with it. He bought a $540,000 house in cash and began turning up to work at the agency in a new Jaguar. At the time of his arrest in 1994, his second wife, Rosario, ‘owned 500 pairs of shoes’. Ever the optimist, Ames went to court to fight a $404,392 tax bill for his traitorous takings. He lost.
A belated New Year search for a calendar reveals some odd examples: images of discarded shopping trolleys, Britain’s best roundabouts and even glossy pin-ups of Benito Mussolini. I had to check with the Editor before mentioning the amazing Endosymbiotic Love Calendar, a wall-hanging publication ‘devoted towards providing explicit close-up full-colour images of drag queens dressed as colonies of giant homosexual bacteria.’ Oooh er, missus!
London, believe it or not, is one of the safest cities in the world. The murder rate has dropped to its lowest in more than a decade, says Vikram Dodd in The Guardian. There were just 97 homicides in 2025, down from 153 in 2019 and 109 in 2024. Murders among the young having fallen dramatically – only 18 were recorded in 2025, compared with a peak of 69 in 2017. The chances of being murdered in London are 1.1 in 100,000, compared to 1.6 in Paris, 2.9 in Brussels and 3.2 in Berlin.
Labour’s postponement of local elections it is likely to lose is a scandal, of course, but the Telegraph’s Michael Deacon has a plausible reason. He says: ‘Sir Keir is simply giving the electorate time to see the error of its ways. Voters will be permitted to vote again only when they’ve demonstrated that they are fit to do so.’
A niece proudly reports that Sainsbury’s have emailed to say that only two other people in her region bought more smoked salmon from their stores in 2025. It’s these small victories that make life worth living, don’t you think?
We’ve always suspected that Donald Trump is sometimes, how shall we say, a stranger from the truth. Curiously, says Marie-Rose Sheinerman in The Atlantic, he has a bizarre reliance on 92% as the answer to everything. Thus, he has cited that percentage was his winning margin in a North Carolina election (it was 16%); the proportion of the Gulf of Mexico’s shoreline controlled by the US (46%); the fall in egg prices (12.7%); and his vote share among veterans and farmers (65% and 78%). Before the 2024 election, he said 92% of journalists are ‘sick’ people. No comment on that one.
Sales of The Bible in the UK were a record in 2025: up 134% since 2019. The total sold was £6.3m, £3.61m higher. The increase correlates with growth in church attendance. A Bible Society report says the number of people attending church in England and Wales rose by 50% since 2018. In that year only 4% of 18- to 24-year-olds said they attended church monthly. In 2024 that number rose to 16% – the largest increase of any age demographic.
Winners and presenters at the weekend’s Golden Globes were given ‘the world’s most luxurious gift bag’, says Nicole Hoey in Robb Report. Recipients of the ‘premium suede’ duffel selected experiences and items including a three-night jolly at a beachfront villa in Mexico; a stay in the Royal Suite at a top Bangkok hotel; products from Brad Pitt’s skincare brand and a year-long membership to the luxury hair brand Maison Devereux’s ‘golden circle’, which typically costs around $21,000. One particularly lucky recipient had nine bottles of the world’s priciest wine, a Bordeaux called Liber Pater, worth $210,000.
Congrats to Claire Foy for proving that not every luvvie will show their arse for publicity on the chat show circuit. The 41-year-old star of The Crown refuses to offer her opinions on anything in the news. She told an interviewer: ‘I have absolutely no authority to discuss or proclaim about anything other than what I do as an actor. If you’re just making noise for the sake of it, then you should probably shut up – so I tend to shut up.‘
Hundreds of black leather boots that appear to be from the 19th century have washed up on a beach in South Wales. Volunteers found the footware while cleaning up litter from rock pools in Ogmore-by-Sea, on the Bristol Channel. During one week, they found 200 boots in one small area. There are several shapes and styles of footwear but they all appear to be from the Victorian era.
A rare copy of the comic book that introduced the world to Superman has been sold for a record $15 million. The private deal for Action Comics No. 1 eclipses the previous $9.12 million record price for a comic. Published in 1938 costing 10c, it told the story of Superman’s birth on a dying planet, his journey to Earth and his decision as an adult to ‘turn his titanic strength into channels that would benefit mankind.’
OnceMoreWithFeline: A railway station in Japan has appointed a new stationmaster…a cat called Yontama. He succeeds another moggie, Nitama, who died in November. The first cat appointed to the rôle was Tama in 2007, sparking a trend across the nation which saw various cats, dogs, rabbits and other animals made stationmasters.
InOtherEwes: Around 50 sheep caused chaos as they flocked (SWIJDT?) into a supermarket in the small Bavarian town of Burgsinn, causing mess and damage. Bewildered store manager Jürgen Kippes thought someone was taking the piss. ‘I was sure we were on Candid Camera,’ he said.
TheThingsTheySay: ‘The most challenging part of the job is producing an independent news report when some readers really want a more partisan one.’ — Joe Kahn, executive editor of The New York Times.
BadBookReviews: ‘Writing, as with all art forms, is an act of noticing and writers are judged on where and how deeply they choose to train their gaze. What’s with Baum? is an absolute failure of noticing. Place Allen in any room, he’ll see less than anyone else.’ —Johanna Thomas-Corr on Woody Allen’s debut novel (reviewed in The Times).
The12LiesOfLabour. 9. This is a government of public service. Identity cards, facial-recognition cameras and proposals to scrap trial by jury, all introduced with minimal scrutiny, do not signal a government of service, but one of centralised control. Source: Telegraph.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
OUT OF REACH
The ones that got away
THREE’S COMPANY: Bob Watson, Shaggy Shearer and Dolly Dalton
By BOB WATSON
DOOMED news blooper group Reach may be hurtling towards oblivion —but it didn’t stop a select band of former hardy Daily Express subs from raising a glass to the good old times on Monday.
They convened at The Kings Arms in Roupell Street, a salubrious back-street boozer in the shadow of the London Eye and Waterloo station.
One cynical hack — who spent more than 20 years at the paper when it was reputedly the world’s greatest organ — said there was undoubtedly more at the gathering than in the decimated Express newsroom after Retch’s countless cuts down the years.
He sighed: “We Expressians always knew how to party so it was nice to have a wet re-run with a few old chums along with a few laughs. It was slipping down a treat by the end!”
The star studded line-up included Collette Harrison, Nick “Dolly” Dalton, Chris “Shaggy” Shearer, Andy Jones, Jon “Smudger” Smith, Tony “Boggy” Reid, Bob Watson, Ray Williams, Bill “Hat and a Hat” Dickson, Rab Anderson, Allison Randell and Andy Waller.
Gaiety at Eighty for Tony
IT was nosebags all round for the Class of 1970 when former Expressman Tony Boullemier took his old friends out to dinner to celebrate his upcoming 80th birthday.
Adding to the entertainment was Kelvin MacKenzie, who got married for the third time earlier this year. He confided that each time he marries he moves a junction or two of the M25. He is currently at Junction 11 and he confessed that he is currently considering Junction 16.
Pictured at the Queen’s Head in Weybridge, Surrey, are Kelvin MacKenzie, Julia Boullemier (Tony’s daughter-in-law), Alastair ‘Bingo’ McIntyre (appearing by kind permission of Lord Drone), Chris ‘Lady Bingo’ McIntyre, Craig Mackenzie, Lesley MacKenzie (Kelvin’s wife), Tony ‘Monsewer’ Boullemier, and his son Richard ‘Ric’ Boullemier.
NOT DEAD YET…
Nosebags for the aged
The rump of the World’s Greatest Lunch Club met for their regular soirée yesterday at their old haunt of the Boulevard in London’s Covent Garden. Their numbers have been reduced in recent years by death and illness. Still keeping the Grim Reaper at bay are, from left to right, Pat Pilton, Alastair ‘Bingo’ McIntyre, Alan ‘Frambo’ Frame and Little Dicky Dismore.
The Drone is particularly sad to announce the death of one of the funniest men in Fleet Street, Express sub-editor John Mulcock.
Mullers, as everyone called him, died on 18 October at the age of 81.
Drone editor Alastair McIntyre said: ‘Mullers was a great and dear friend and our joint insanity helped to keep us both sane during crazy and stressful days on the Express in the Noughties. I grieve for him.’
Tony Boullemier said: ‘A top sub and an extremely funny man. If he wasn't firing off a quip, he was saying something that you just knew was leading up to one.
‘And when political correctness spread over newsrooms in the 90s, he was one of the last journos to ignore it.’
John Mulcock
TIMES READERS’ LIVES TRIBUTE
Compton Miller dies at 8o
Richard Compton Miller, the last of the gossips from the great days of Fleet Street has died at the age of 80. He had been in hospital with pneumonia when he caught an infection and had also been suffering from Parkinson’s Disease.
The funeral is on Tuesday December 16, at 1.30 at the Temple Church, Middle Temple.
CRICKETERS IN THE FRAME
DAVID RICHARDSON, pictured above in sunglasses, has been clearing out his loft and come up with a few sporting pix involving Daily Express journalists. But who are they?
Lord Drone is honoured for 20 years of his Fleet Street organ
LORDING IT: Drone as imagined by Scott Clissold of the Sunday Express
THE Daily Drone is 20 years old? Shurely shome mistake. Believe it or not it is true and to mark the anniversary His Worship Lord (Bingo) Drone was presented with a magnificent caricature hand-tooled by Scott Clissold, talented cartoonist of the Sunday Express.
The ceremony took place in front of disinterested diners at the Boulevard Brasserie in London’s Covent Garden, the venue for numerous drink-sodden gatherings of the World’s Greatest Lunch Club.
The brasserie is a favourite with WGLC members not just for the excellent cuisine but also for the fact that Le Patron provides old-age pensioners with half-price food.
Lord Drone gave a long address of thanks to gently sleeping members which can be summed up as “thanks awfully chums”. He left shortly afterwards in a sedan chair after proffering his fondest thanks to Roger Watkins (chairman), Terry Manners, Dick Dismore, Alan Frame and Pat Pilton for their generous gesture. (Will that do M’Lud? — Ed)
DX lawyer Stephen Bacon dies at 79
Stephen Bacon, one of the great Daily Express lawyers and a thoroughly nice man, has died. He was 79 and had been suffering from prostate cancer.
Stephen practised for 11 years in Manchester chambers before joining Express Newspapers from where he retired as head of legal. He later became a media law consultant mainly for The Times, The Sunday Times and The Sun.
Stephen leaves a wife, Felicity, who is a retired Express features sub, and a daughter, Cleo.
Hot metal, hot off the press
PETER PHEASANT, pictured, who retired as night editor of the Nottingham Post five years ago, has turned his talents to writing.
His debut novel, Manfishing, is about the exploits of an ambitious young reporter on a weekly newspaper in the dying days of hot metal.
Manfishing is set in the fictional Midlands town of Brexham when stories were bashed out on typewriters in smoky newsrooms, long before the age of the internet.
It follows the exploits of Simon Fox, a small-time reporter with big ideas. Anything that’s fit to print makes the pages of the broadsheet Brexham Bugle, from court cases and council reports to weddings and whippet racing.
As Fox seeks out the next front-page scoop, he meets a cast of colourful characters, including a disabled pensioner who is being terrorised out of his home and an Auschwitz survivor pleading for help to save her sick grandchild.
But he knows nothing of the secret alliance between a corrupt detective and a violent skinhead.
Meanwhile, Fox is grappling with tragedy at home. And when the Bugle’s century of independence ends with a takeover, he is on a collision course with the new owners.
Stand aside le Carré, Seed’s written another spy thriller
"Where The Past Lies" is the fifth political thriller from ex-Daily Mail and TV journalist, Geoffrey Seed.
Former Mirror executive, the late Revel Barker, published Seed’s debut novel which led an Amazon best-seller list for three months.
Seed's wife says writing books is just his way of pretending he's no longer on the road. This is his side of the slur.
A MONOCLE-POPPING MOMENT AT THE EXPRESS
Do you mean us, Annie?
WHAT-HO! Express subs Alastair ‘Bingo’ McIntyre, Bob ‘Algy’ Smith and John ‘Bertie’ Brooks enjoying a refreshing glass of supper some time in the 1980s
MUCH has been written on these pages about the madcap Dronery on the Daily Express during the 1980s and 90s and our man TERRY MANNERS has found more evidence.
He writes: While browsing yet more publishing archives I came across this revealing quote from an interview with a local councillor for Salisbury, named Annie Riddle, pictured, in the December issue of the digital magazine Inside Salisbury.
Sounds fascinating, eh?
Talking about her time as a sub-editor in Fleet Street, she says: “When I was at the Express. There were a bunch of young lads there, four of them, they were very good, but they used to push it.
“They had this thing called the Drones Club and would pretend to be characters out of Bertie Wooster with the monocles and this would go on for the whole shift…
“Fleet Street was very male-dominated then. Heavy drinking was the norm but there was a lot of fun and I worked with some really clever people.”
Who could she be talking about, I wonder?”
(Drone editor dives under nearest desk)
EXCLUSIVE FROM THE DRONE GRAINY PIX DEPT
London Evening News staff meet for lunch, 45 years on
By BARRY GARDNER
Forty-five years after it closed the London Evening News managed to assemble most of its first team for a celebratory Christmas lunch on Tuesday (Dec 9).
Brilliantly organised by the last LEN News Editor Charles Garside, twenty-one former members of the ‘happiest office in Fleet Street’ gathered at The Punch Tavern, just around the corner from the old Associated Newspapers offices.
There were toasts to absent friends as several dozen bottles of wine were demolished.
As a mark of appreciation for his skills in corralling the motley crew of reporters, subs and feature writers Charles was presented with a rare copy of the last edition of the LEN, dated October 31st, 1980, signed by everyone present.
“Still a bloody good read,” he said.
Those at the lunch: Mike Ryder, Guy Simpson, Lee Rodwell, Paul Henderson, David Meilton, Colin Adamson, Helen Minsky, Kevin Murphy, Mia Scammell, Michael Crozier, Peter Dobbie, John McShane, Spencer Bright, John Blake, Charles Garside, Andrew Hogg, Jeff Edwards, Simon Brodbeck, Stan Slaughter, Ann Morris, Barry Gardner.
A Gran tale about Fleet St
Another day, another great book, this time a tale about Fleet Street by former Daily Star columnist Cathy Hollowell.
Beginning as an apprentice reporter on the Brighton and Hove Gazette in 1968, she worked her way through national agencies, night shifts at the Daily Mail, and the Daily Express before landing her dream job on the Star, interviewing extraordinary people from every walk of life.
Hollowell, who wrote under the name Cathy Couzens, now lives in Texas, with her husband, Don.
THE POWER OF DRONE
Palace acts TWO DAYS after we called for Prince Andrew to be stripped of all his daft titles
Alan Frame’s column on 14 October
Here’s proof that the Daily Drone is read in the highest social circles — including the King.
Just two days after our columnist Alan Frame suggested it was time to remove Prince Andrew’s titles the Palace acted — and did just that.
Fleet Street caught up last night …
NAMES WHO MADE THE DAILY EXPRESS GREAT
TOM BROWN reports: Cleaning out old files including some historic newspapers, I came across the attached memo. The subject matter — expenses in 1977 — is of course important. But the real interest is in the list of names — some of the most outstanding journalists ever who every day made the Express the marvellous paper it was in those days.
The memo is signed by the late, great Morris Benett.
The things they used to say on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
By PAT WELLAND
With nothing better to do, I’ve been re-reading a couple of books about the Boulevard at a time now seen – as one of the authors remarks – “as remote as the Byzantine empire”.
From political commentator Alan Watkins’ excellent A Short Walk Down Fleet Street, two conversations between Jack Nener, “a foul-mouthed bow-tied Swansea boy” who was Mirror editor 53-61, and his deputy, Dick Dinsdale:
1. “What we need on this paper, Jack, are a few Young Turks.”
Nener: “I can see we could do with a few new faces about the place, but why in fuck’s name do they have to be Turkish?”
2. “The sub-editors, like most people who work long shifts in unchanging company, had a number of catchphrases, or joke sentences. One of them – it comes from the film of Tom Brown’s Schooldays, rather than from the book itself – was: ‘Flashman, you are a bully and a liar, and there is no place for you in this school.’
Nener was overheard asking: ‘Who’s this Flashman, then, Dick?’
‘Flashman? Flashman? I don’t think we’ve got any one of that name on the paper, Jack. Is he a reporter or a sub?’
‘I don’t give a fuck what he is, but get rid of him fucking quick. He’s a bully and a liar’.”
3. From Matthew Engel’s equally enjoyable Tickle the Public – 100 years of the popular press: “There is a story that around 1926 John Logie Baird went into the Express office anxious to show his new invention (TV, as any fule kno) to the editor (Beverley Baxter). Baxter, in keeping with the paper’s reputation for percipience, sent down the message ‘Get rid of that lunatic. He may have a knife'.”
A TOPPING TALE IN THE TIMES
WE wouldn’t normally feature a story about farting in the Drone but if it’s good enough for The Times it’s good enough for Lord Drone’s mighty super soaraway organ.
But the following item in the TMS Diary yesterday is too funny not to share:
WIND OF CHANGE
The era of gender-neutral lavatories has its perils. The cricket commentator David Lloyd says he recently went into one and was embarrassed when he suffered a stentorian attack of flatulence.
Such things might go unremarked upon in the gents, but it would be dreadfully embarrassing if a lady were present. Lloyd was comforted and amused, therefore, when the woman in the next stall piped up and said: "Is that you, Maureen?"
The Drone picture desk was asked to provide a suitable illustration for this story but we are not sure the result, left, is entirely appropriate.
Go on, dear reader, you decide — oh and apologies to all Maureens.
A PLAGUE ON YOUR PLAGIARISM
Daily Express nicked our stories, say two writers
Two journalists have accused the Daily Express of plagiarising their stories and publishing the copy under another reporter’s byline.
Daniel Puddicombe, a freelance journalist, said he is livid after his Telegraph feature on a coast-to-coast train in Mexico was was apparently copied by the Daily Express site. The piece is under another journalist’s name, and was published six days after The Telegraph.
Puddicombe said he is certain it is his work that has been lifted as he is “the first and only non-Mexican journalist who travelled on that railway line and to have been in contact with the military and the Navy”.“There is absolutely no chance that anybody else could have done that,” he told Press Gazette.
He added another piece he wrote for the Telegraph about “Portugal’s Presidential Train” has also been “recycled” for the site, but it “at least references me and my original piece”. This second article did not appear to be written by AI, according to Pangram.
Both of Puddicombe’s articles lifted by the Daily Express were published on 18 October. He received an offer of £100 per article after reaching out to the Daily Express, which he declined and described as an “insult” as “less than one-third” of what he was paid per article.
Another journalist, who asked not to be named, claimed the Daily Express lifted their piece and published it under someone else’s name. It did refer to the journalist’s original work, but they were prompted to invoice the Daily Express by a journalist Facebook group. They were again offered £100.
Mind the steps…
MALCOM TATTERSALL says that if Justice Secretary David Lammy really wants to end the long delays in our judicial system, he should bring back “the police station steps”.
GONG BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
AH, this fair takes a chap back to the old days when a bollocking from Sunday Express editor Eve Pollard earned the victim a medal.
This little gem was found in the effects of the late SX executive Phil Durrant by his widow Helen.
She said: ‘I have a lot of stuff to sort that was being stored. I found this with a safety pin on the back to wear as a badge, in Phil's stuff!'
Former Sunday Express exec Peter ‘Stewpot’ Steward told the Drone: ‘I don't know why everyone on the Sunday Express during Eve’s reign of terror didn't get one.’
Henry Macrory remembers that the 'badges' were created by the late Sheila Copsey.
The day I was told to rewrite Tom Stoppard’s copy (and share his ancient typewriter)
JOHN SMITH remembers a mad day at the Bristol Evening World in the 1960s when a gas explosion rocked the city. Tom Stoppard was one of several reporters sent to cover the drama. Trouble was that young Tom was not a news man and wrote far too much. Consequently a frazzled chief sub told Smith to rewrite the Bard’s lyrical prose.
Express sales plunge after puzzles redesign cock-up
SALES of the Daily Express have haemorrhaged after an ill thought out redesign of its popular puzzles pages.
Frustrated readers deserted the sinking ship after changes to bring puzzles in line with the Mirror to save cash.
Bosses were forced into an about-face and published a grovelling apology promising to restore puzzles into their old format.
What the powers that be have failed to understand that readers hate redesigns, taking the view that if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
The Express has undergone many rejigs over the years, including a switch from broadsheet to tabloid which did little to stem the relentless plunge in circulation.
Meanwhile they can’t even get the Page One blurbs right with one reading: “FREE Family size bottle at of Coca -Cola.”
An insider told the Drone: “Everyone is struggling with this new regime. The subs are swamped.”
That’ll be all my good man: Daily Mail’s butler retires after 46 years of service
THINGS are getting serious at the Mail, not only have they made 16 reporters on Femail redundant, they have also lost the services of the in-house ‘butler’.
The gentlemen’s gentleman, who padded round Northcliffe House with a silver tray laden with pink gins, has retired after 46 years. He was known as the Fleet Street Jeeves, a misnomer if there ever was one, because Jeeves was never a butler, he was a valet.
There is no word yet if the butler will be replaced but the Drone understands that Jacob Rees-Mogg doesn’t have much on his plate at the moment.
In other news, The Mail’s putative purchase of the Telegraph hasn’t even been announced as a done deal yet, but DMG’s bosses are wasting no time marking their territory.
Up on the second floor of DM towers, staffers have noticed a new publication has been added to the lightbox of the organisation’s titles.
Right next to the logos for The i Paper, Metro and Weekend Mail - welcome to … The Telegraph!
Observer Sport hits rock bottom with this daft front page
Look, we on the Drone enjoy schoolboy humour as much as the next man but this front page of this week’s Observer sports section has crossed the bounds of acceptability.
It’s not funny, it’s not clever and it has no relevance to the story to which it refers, England’s poor cricketing performance so far in the Ashes in Australia.
In fact it doesn’t refer to cricket at all and the pic has no connection with the sport.
The rest of The Observer was well subbed and attractively laid out so maybe the Sports Editor and his minions should go back to journalism school.
As more and more experienced journalists are shown the door, this is the sad result.
YOU READ IT HERE FIRST!
Caroline Waterston to step down as Mirror editor just as we predicted
Chloe Hubbard, left, is replacing Caroline Waterston
THE news that Mirror editor-in-chief Caroline Waterston was on the way out — was broken by the Drone THREE DAYS before it was officially announced.
Waterston, who will leave at the end of the year, had been in the job for less than two years. She will be succeeded by Chloe Hubbard, who has been UK editor at The Independent since the start of this year.
Hubbard’s start date will be announced later. Her remit, like Waterston’s, will also mean leading Reach’s magazines team including OK!.
FIRST WITH THE NEWS (FOR ONCE): Our original story
Waterston’s departure comes shortly after a shake-up at Reach that saw Express editor-in-chief Tom Hunt become editorial director (brands), with the editors of the Mirror, Express and Star reporting to him. They remained “responsible for maintaining and developing distinctive brands with growing, loyal audiences”.
The Mirror was understood to have been among the hardest-hit titles by redundancies at Reach this autumn.
DRONE TV EXCLUSIVE
On film: The London Evening News office from 50 years ago
STEVE MILL has produced some grainy footage of the Evening News newsroom from the mid-1970s which the Daily Drone is proud to publish.
Steve said: “There was a fair bit of jiggery pokery to get the video from an old dvd recorder hard disk, and you'll no doubt have experience with file sizes, quality and compatibility. Hope the file type is workable.”
It is workable and we extend our thanks to Steve for completing this task which we know from past experience how difficult it can be.
McEntee and chums, out on the toot again
It’s a grand life being a Daily Mail Diarist. Just ask John McEntee, pictured left, who writes the Ephraim Hardcastle column.
Dash off a few pars, leave the subs to clean it up, and saunter off to the pub.
This is the life of John McEntee, who wrote on Facebook: “After Richard Compton-Miller’s funeral in the Temple Church there was a grand reception nearby where we raised numerous glasses to Rochard [sic].
“I made the mistake of sneaking downstairs on arrival ignoring the cloakroom and availing of the disabled toilets. I dropped my trilby into the nearby washbasin as I commenced to Pee and heard this gurgle as the single tap automatically activated and gently filled my upturned hat.
“Did not diminish the joy of seeing my old friend and Daily Mail legend Geoff Levy with the evergreen Liz Brewer, My colleague Helen Minsky and the inestimable Adam Helliker. Lovely afternoon of memories and refreshment.”
I think we all felt refreshed for that. Thanks John.
A toast to the Falling Star
’Tis the season to be jolly ... so the boys from the other half of the second floor of Lower Thames Street toasted their departure from Reach.
Some of these former Daily Star chaps actually recall when the paper sold a few — but not now. The Christmas reunion took place in the shadow of the old building in the City of London.
For the record, living it up at the Walrus and Carpenter are Richard Fenn, Chris Hillsden, Rocky Kelly, Barry Roberts, Billy Izzard, Ian Angel, Chris Gill (also ex Express sport of 16 years), Paul Mozza Mosley and Jem. A great time was had by all as is the tradition.
NEW BOOK ALERT
Inside story of the kidnapping of Kelvin MacKenzie (up to a point)
ALLAN HALL, of this parish, has written another book, which will be published next January but can be preordered today.
He told the Drone: “Conceived in delirium, written in Berlin, edited in Bavaria, printed in Cambridge — The Duck Press is the incredible story of the kidnapping of one Kelvin Calder MacKenzie! AND it's NOT self-published! (Spoiler alert: Kelvin survives.)
“Other than that, it’s a bit of a romp featuring a grieving father who lost his only son at Hillsborough, a gay crimper called Desmond, a Saaarf London villain named Vic, a Sun femme fatale, a fired Sun hack, a compassionate detective, a man-eating lizard called Cecil and the biggest beast of them all, Keith Rupert Murdoch. Sun staff in the book are sometimes real, sometimes fictional characters.”
The author pledges to squander all royalties on strong drink.
Allan Hall is retired now but was formerly a crime reporter at the Daily Mail, chief reporter at the Daily Star, US editor for The Sun and US editor at the Daily Mirror. He is the author of 30 books on crime, mysteries and the paranormal, including the bestselling Monster about Josef Fritzl.
BARRED BY BARDOT
THE death of Brigitte Bardot at 91 has prompted Sue McGibbon, wife of the late Robin, to reveal a meeting he arranged with the actress at her rustic seafront villa in Canoubiers Bay, St Tropez.
Sue told the Drone: "We combined it with a little break and drove down to the French Riviera town bustling with luxury yachts, designer shops and celebrities.
"It was a blistering hot day and Robin had arranged to see Bardot at her home to discuss publication of a book on her life. We parked at the gates at the allotted time and I stayed in our white Jaguar as Robin got out and spoke to someone on the intercom.
"The gates opened and suited, booted and sweating, he walked up the drive carrying his burgundy briefcase that had held so many manuscripts.
"At that moment I heard a vehicle bouncing up the unmade track behind me and a jeep driven by a very pretty young man, with a little blonde sat next to him — and about six dogs of various sizes in the back.
"It skidded past the Jag and screeched to a halt, then I heard this very loud voice shouting at Robbie in a strong French accent: 'I doo not know yoo! Off my land!' Obviously Bardot.
"Worse. The dogs jumped off the jeep and were barking madly at Robbie trying to explain. She wasn't listening.
"Robbie managed to tell her to check with her agent before speedily walking back to the car, the barking dogs all around him.
"We found out later that Bardot's agent had left a message with her housekeeper that the meeting was taking place, but she forgot to pass it on.
"Over a much needed drink somewhere quieter and more welcoming, Robbie and I agreed. Her driver looked more like a film star than she did!
"Robin did not attempt to rearrange our date."
FRONT PAGES FROM 1997
How papers change yet strangely stay the same
THE DAILIES
THE SUNDAYS
There have been big changes in newspapers in the 28 or so years since these front pages were printed in 1997 but they are still recognisable today.
The Times, The Independent and The Guardian were all broadsheets and the tabloid/compact titles had mostly dropped the definite article from their names. Quite what the point of this was unclear to most of us at the time. If the powers that be thought it would increase circulation it didn’t. Readers dislike change and the experiment was dropped.
The Sundays all look much the same today, except that the News of the World was retitled as the Sun on Sunday. The Sunday Business was turned into a magazine in 2006 and later merged into The Spectator which converted it into the monthly Spectator Business magazine.
The Daily Drone is published, financed and edited by Alastair ‘Bingo’ McIntyre with contributions from the veteran journalists of old Fleet Street, Manchester, Glasgow, Welsh Wales and the worldwide diaspora. Dedicated to scribblers everywhere.
©Lord Drone, Whom God Preserve 2005—2026
